A Vietnamese Wedding

Wow!   We've just got back from the most amazing wedding party either of us has ever witnessed (not 'witnessed' in the formal sense, just attended as guests that is).  Without exaggeration, it was like something out of a Hollywood musical extravanganza!   It was held in an absolutely huge hotel/restaurant complex in Danang, the kind of complex which wouldn't look out of place in Vegas, I would imagine - all glitzy resort-style stuff, with vast marble staircases, extravagantly-decorated tables and chairs with huge organza bows on everything that didn't move (and some that did), massive floral decorations on every possible ledge or stand, and rows upon rows of immaculately liveried waiting staff.  

We'd been invited to attend the wedding party (the wedding ceremony itself had taken place earlier in the day, as we understand it) by a young couple, Nguyen (groom) and Kimmy (bride), whom we'd met at the strange outdoor 'bingo' game we've mentioned in an earlier blog.   They'd helped us to sort-of understand the game's rules, so that we could join in with the fun.   Kimmy spoke fairly good English, (despite having been living in the US for a few years!), and we spent, at most, two laughter-packed hours in their company a few days before Christmas.   They'd mentioned their impending wedding, and the fact that they are hoping to visit England some time in the next few years, and we'd exchanged e-mail addresses.   Imagine our surprise, then, when we got an e-mailed invitation, the day before Christmas Eve, to be on the guest-list!   As a result, Andy and I spent the morning of Christmas Eve being measured for some suitable clothes and shoes - neither of us having anything but flip-flops/trainers and shorts/T-shirts with us. And, of course, there's no better or cheaper place than Hoi An in the whole of Asia (except maybe Hong Kong) to get anything tailor-made.   Indeed, Andy was measured for a pair of trousers and two shirts (since he couldn't decide between two colours) at 11 am, and they were ready for collection - each item a perfect fit - at 4 pm that same day!

Anyway, back to the wedding party.   There were around 300 guests in all - surprisingly, given the setting and everything else, most of them in pretty every-day, un-fancy clothing.   Once we were all seated, the lights went down, there was a portentous roll of drums and then a booming, anthemic piece of music blared out from a massive sound system, as, shrouded in misty dry-ice and amidst showers of glittering silver confetti raining down from the ceiling, a group of four professional dancers (two girls and two boys all in sparkly-white ice-dancer-like outfits) pirouetted in through the double doors at the back of the ballroom, and performed a beautiful modern ballet along the cat-walk through the middle of the room and onto the large stage at the far end, itself all froth and glitter.   As they finished their routine, the double-doors opened again and this time the bride and groom, and both sets of parents, made their way gracefully and regally along the same catwalk to the stage, with yet more glittering showers and dry-ice.   Once there, they were followed by five young men in red 'bell-hop'-style livery, each one of them carrying a two-tiered wedding cake, which they placed ceremonially upon the five stepped cake-stands to one side of the stage, before leaving in a kind of military changing of the guards routine.   Kimmy's father then made a speech, the happy couple lit sparkly candles on each of the five cakes, and then two massive snow-shower-like fireworks whooshed up on either side of the stage, maybe 15 feet high and lasting for a good 5 minutes.   This was the cue for the side doors to open and admit maybe 70 liveried waiters and waitresses, all marching in single file to another tune being played by a rock band who'd arrived on stage, and carrying huge silver platters groaning with food.

We had 6 courses of gorgeous Vietnamese food, and as much coke or beer as we could take - all, strangely enough, poured into the pint-sized dimpled glass beer mugs which are now going out of fashion in UK pubs.   Only the bride and groom seemed to be honoured with dainty wine glasses, or even with wine.  Two women guests on either side of us served food into our bowls every few seconds, we think as a gesture of hospitality, whilst a man at our table filled up everyone's glasses with beer about every 10 seconds(!), every time insisting on us all 'clinking' and shouting 'mot hai ba, Yo' (one two three, Cheers).   This same guy slung all the empty bottles under the table! While we were eating, we were entertained by a variety of different wedding guests who sang songs, accompanied by the musicians on stage - to call it 'karaoke' would not really do it justice:  most of them were incredibly gifted singers - as well as one comic/magician.   There were also two huge video screens on either side of the stage, of the kind you'd see at most rock-concerts these days, which showed a rolling powerpoint presentation of some of the most beautiful wedding photography we've ever seen, of the young couple in a varety of settings and outfits - all of which must have taken place well before the wedding itself, not least because it was shot on location against beautiful backdrops in towns as far apart as Hoi An, Ho Chi Minh City, Nha Trang and Danang (maybe a 300km radius).

We'd been briefed by our hotel receptionist about the tradition of taking money in an envelope (rather than buying wedding presents) which is put into a large wicker box as you enter the party.   We'd also been told by her, and others, that the party would last for no more than 2 hours (it started at 11.30 am), and that the end would be fairly abrupt.   Even so, we weren't quite prepared for just how abrupt!   With beer and coke still undrunk in people's glasses, and the last remnants of fruit still half-peeled on people's plates, there was a sudden upsurge from the chairs and almost a stampede to get out of the double doors at the back of the room at just after 1 pm.   We were bundled temporarily onto another table as ours emptied like water down a plug-hole, everyone rushing back down the marble staircase and out onto their motor-bikes or to bus-stops across the street, waving goodbye, very unceremoniously, to the bride and groom who were standing at the foot of the stairs!   Only a couple of dozen people (ourselves included) were invited to stand in pairs or small groups to have their photograph taken with Kimmy and Nguyen as the place emptied out. The floor of the ballroom - in contrast to the poshness of the place when we came in - was awash with sea of spilt beer, orange peel, nut-shells, bits of unwanted food and paper napkins.

Our taxi was already waiting for us, and, though we'd had time to take our leave of the young couple, promising to stay in touch, we sat in the back of the car for the 30-minute drive back to Hoi An in gob-smacked wonderment, puzzling over what had become of the 'grand finale' idea which Hollywood would certainly have given us...

As Andy pointed out, it's doubtful whether the Royal Wedding in England (which we understand is happening next year between Prince Willy and Whatsername) will come anywhere near this level of glitz, glamour and extravagance.   But we bet there won't be a stampede out the door once the food and drink is nearly all gone!